Whispers of the Forgotton
"My dreams are for the future, but I died yesterday"
Don't judge what you can't comprehend...
i hope you are ok.

Well today was alright...I was just a bum today. Updating my profile on VF and stuff. I've been doing some thinking and I think that I would much rather be single. Honestly, I just wish I could go back in time and keep Carlos as my good friend. Hey, it's too late for that now huh? Well, atleast I know what it would feel like. I just...like being single maybe. I can't really understand why I feel the way I do or do the things that I do. I was talking to someone about this and I started crying. He understands. I just wish everyone else would too, especially my parents! Come on, 17 years old. How can they put so much force onto who I should "love". Don't tell me I'm going to end up alone...
I'm just worried, I don't want to hurt anybody and I don't want anymore arguements. What if later I come around? It's been like 3 months, should I have come around by now? If I break-up with him now, I will feel as if I failed again at this. I was unable to open up my heart to someone again. Sometimes I feel like I made a good choice sticking with him and then the next day or a few moments later I will feel different. He told me he loved me way, way too soon. I think that really messed things up. I feel like he doesn't know what it is, just the way I felt with Patrick. They both said the same thing about every girl that they've been with too soon and I just can't find that "special" part that comes with it. I don't know...
Am "I" the problem? I must be, yes.
"When I was young
I fell in love
She was a goddess
With a world inside of her mind
When she moved on
Something went wrong
She took my power
And the love I had inside
Now that I found you
I don’t know how to...
I pray in time
I’ll come to find
Away to break through
And save this heart of mine
You’ve waited long
If you can’t hold on
I wouldn’t blame you
I don’t think I’d be that strong
If I could fall
In love again
I’d fall in love with you
If I could change
A grain of sand
Into a pearl I would
I would, I would, I would"---Lenny K. "If I could fall in love"